Wakeful nights

from the quiet dreamer —

“Nothing particularly meaningful happens at 3 a.m…”

Sometimes, I lie awake just for the freedom of it. So little of my day feels like my own, so I steal the stillness of 3 a.m. when the world around me is asleep. I know I’ll regret it tomorrow, the exhaustion will settle into my bones as I try to keep up with everything, but taking these moments feels like grabbing a lifeline.

It’s not just about the quiet. It’s about longing, longing for a version of myself that existed before life became so full of responsibilities and demands. These stolen hours feel like a whisper from the past, a fragile connection to a time when my days were filled with more spontaneity, passion, and dreams that belonged to only me.

Nothing particularly meaningful happens at 3 a.m. Most of the time, I scroll aimlessly through social media, catching glimpses of other people’s lives. Sometimes, I’ll read a chapter or two in the Bible, hoping for clarity or peace. But none of that is the point. The point is that the time is mine. For a moment, I’m not answering to anyone else’s needs, expectations, or schedules.

This borrowed time feels rebellious.. And though it costs me in the morning, I’ll do it again tomorrow. Because on those wakeful nights, I’m not just stealing time, I’m holding on to pieces of myself that I’m not ready to lose.